*disclaimer*
it was early and I was delirious with caffeine. hahahaha.
5.20 a.m, shelfy wakes from blissful slumber to check that all the sleep are sheeping soundly.
The cold chill reminds him of all the early mornings as a sickly child sleeping fitfully in a damp cardboard box and dreaming of one day being a reviewer for a high quality, world renowned…and thoroughly useful glossy camera magazine.
And who knows…it might happen one day.
Anyways meanwhile…back to reality and dcmag…
The sheep are distressingly sprightly this morning and are whispering in my ear…(not for the first time , phnaar phnaar)
They say that…
Angus57….theatre of Glass…First off they wonder where the other 56 of Angus is as they haven’t seen them lately.
They also figured it would be cool to drive a big bulldozer into the front of this building whilst waving the shovel about, sending slivers and shards of opulescent glass nastiness into the air, piercing the soft defenceless bodies of innocent passers-by and causing little rhythmic arcs of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun. They quite liked the composition here, though felt it lacked a little (ahem) sharpness, and was a little too bluey grey and lacking definition… though they did think running with the bulldozer idea was a good one.
You know, I think these sheep have been at the disco-biscuits
They also wished to apologise and hope they haven’t upset anyone in real life who may have lost relatives due to errant plant-machinery.
Julescs…CAB SAV…hey, fresh or what. Oh, pesky sheep stop giggling will yers.
Yes, I thought that too. Hee hee. Julie it seems that the sheep have deduced from your image that this was taken in the bedroom because of the
Curtains…also the mirror is too small for a bathroom and it has that bright crispy fresh…minimalist sort of modern bedroom feel to it.
Effs sake…my girls been reading Homes and Interiors or what?
So they wondered why you would be taking a bottle of wine into the bedroom…also they wondered how come you were going to the bedroom with a bottle of wine as it is still the middle of the day…hmmm, curiouser and curiouser…. …Mamma sheep wants to know when the ram gets let loose….erm, not til October dear.
Not sure…they like the modern feel but are curious as to how the bottle looks full and the reflection looks empty…clever.
genericdave…glass bottom…is there a proprietory dave? the girls wondered…
Having been to the Bushmills distillery once, a small number of the sheep saw the similarity in shape, form and colours here with the large “coppers” they use to distill whisky in…or Uisce Beatha as the gaelic speaking members of the flock like to say…pronounced eeesh kabar. They felt it was a little featureless, lacked impact and sparkle but was a good effort and good idea. Could do better are the words they used.
Shelfy…Beach Zombies…oooer…the sheep are cowering behind the sofa…apparently some strange man with crazed eyes and wearing a beige hoodie has recently taken to wandering in to their shed at night and..,d,f,f^&*.bn..egte#
Erm…next….NEXT…
MPelley…/Big Truck…its OK girls,,,not this one, this one is a picture. … No, we’re not going anywhere,,,, shhh, easy. OK/. . . my sheep don’t care much for trucks…certainly don’t care for big trucks especially…seen too many friends bleating helplessly out of those little slats on the sides of some trucks that take their friends away, trucks are the very devil himself, albeit the motorised version. Me on the other hand…I really like the scattergun reflections and overall composition…great stuff…I wondered whether having the lights at the bottom completely in the shot for some more colour and interest might work. I also wonder whether that might be too distracting…I don’t know the answer and the sheep just ain’t bothered.
Martin H…Leaves and mirror…there seems to be some sort of huddle and mumbling going on,,,I’m still learning bleat-sheep-speak but I get the vibe that they want this stuck on the shed wall. I’d explain that they won’t be around long enough to see it but that might not go down well.
“Is it” they ask me, “a peculiar northern thing to take the women into the garden to make them examine their nasal hair?”
. I’m gonna have to get back to them on that one as I’m not too sure meself. Certainly never did it back in my day. Suffice to say they love it, though they don’t understand it. “Quality” I heard them opine.
Snow Reports…BIG SILVER B0LLoCK…this reminds the girls of their week in Fuertaventura last month, lounging by the pool and getting fleeced by Spanish waiters. Except there was no empty chairs there…they’d all been skanked by those pesky bleedin german sheep innit yeah bro. wag one? ya get me.
All of us here at shelfy’s sheep Co. wonder how there’s no reflection of the cameraman here. . . as even the sheep understand the projected reflective property laws of shiny geometric objects…sheesh…, who doesn’t fer chrissakes. We prefer the Dublin shot…it’s a lot better than this one…even though the Dublin shot doesn’t come with a free mathematical conundrum.
Eileen…paperweight. My sheep know poise, elegance and sophistication when they see it, but that’s enough about your avatar, they say your entry isn’t bad either. They’ve gone all quiet and frankly…well…a little bit…erm…sheepish.
Yup, strange but true.
But they know this is a beautiful bit of work, great balance. Superb light. Ace comp.
Did people ever use paper weights to actually weigh paper down…I mean REALLY. OK, they’re called paperweights because they used to be used to weigh paper down but hey, did they really?…did anyone ever see anyone else actually weigh any paper down with an actual paper weight. Sorry….I’ll start another thread…maybe on the “what equipment” thread. Hmmm…looking for a 50mm prime 25oz paperweight for some wedding shots”
wattsy …afternoon tea…sheep don’t care much for tea, in denby cups, mugs, steins, champagne flutes or otherwise. They also shudder in horror at the prospect of nicely trimmed cucumber sandwiches…(pronounced “sandwiches”) Preferring instead some nice fresh water and a munch on some grass. They do however appreciate well balanced and carefully crafted close-up compositional work. And so do I. nice one.
top totty…the bangles. Luckily its just me and the girls this morning…the boy sheep would reel in horror if they saw this…if you go near those boys with a ring shaped object they suspect its going to be attached to their genitalia in order to make their testicles gangrenous and eventually drop off with atrophy after a painful few weeks…ah, the ways of the country…however, We digress. We like the idea and the composition but I hear a little bit of bleating about it maybe just needs to be a bit more “sparkly”. Easier said than done we know. Also the very top of the bangle being cropped off has not gone down well in the shed. They’re a fussy bunch today. Baa, really good work though.
ABERS…Mirror in the Bathroom…Annabel, queen of sheep, and big Abercrombie-Afficianado, is slightly shocked that the great man is actually a strawberry blonde alcoholic, given to late nights disco dancing with young ladies and generally “Giving it Large”…and not the silver haired man of the people that his avatar and work would suggest. Optrex and a pint of guinness ™ would do the trick mate. And a big fry.
She likes the almost candid insight and honesty of this picture but is a little concerned about what appears to be a jar of spaghetti on a bathroom shelf!
I had a hangover the other day…I felt like I was in a catatonic state…and I DON’T MEAN Wisconson neither, arf arf.
filter99…tree-eert…some dismay at this end at the lack of grass in the shot, or indeed anything to stand on at all, which doesn’t make for good sheepery. I did a hear a mutter about “what does he think we are…bleedin’ giraffes or sumfink… he’s got some neck…unfortunately we haven’t, how’re we supposed to eat that.”
Begrudging mumbly sheep noises about it being “pretty damned good actually” can be heard from yonder trough.
sonic j…another big silver b0llock…the older sheep who have avoided “going to table” wondered whether you call yourself “sonic j” as a respectful nod to the great synth-meister himself…Gary Webb, aka gary numan…if so, they will award you extra points for being so savvy with your musical tastes. They remember gary fondly from their younger days and can often be heard bleating along to his greatest hits…”Are Sheep Electric” , “Here in My sheep”, I Dye, Sheep Dye and “We Are Glass Sheep”…their favourite was from the REPLICAS album…”Me I Disconnect From Sheep”, a song about the alienation of woolly farm animals in a stark future farmscape. Nice big ball by the way. Reminds me of kew gardens for some reason. A very interesting picture that drags the eyes around the shot.
Bodsao…Big Bubble…”hmmm,” said the sheep, in a rather thoughtful and bemused bleat…, who weren’t too sure whether the bubble was placed in the right part of the frame or not. That don’t surprise me too much…I mean c’mon…everyone knows that sheep, regardless of intellect, are not known for their definitive opinions on bubble-placement. They know quality “iridescence” when they see it though…and are well aware that B+W shots do little to convey such qualities. Good choice, they all bleated in unison.
Veggiesosage…Albert hall dock…”ah” said the sheep, in a rare state of calm and restfulness…”cool…It’s the competition entrant that is least likely to eat us…lets vote for him regardless…even though his shot is actually very good anyway… bright, bold, well composed and very effective….yah for veggie”.
I swear the girls are going soft.
GUY1970…Blocks…alas sheep have a pathological inability to distinguish, in fact even recognise primary colours, that’s why they eat grass…they think it’s blancmange. So they are ill disposed to comment on this, all they can see is a bit of black at the top and the bottom.
Like that American Spy plane that’s invisible to radar…all you pick up is a man in a helmet doing 1800mph at 40’000 feet.
I like it though, nice and strong composition. There’s something about it that don’t quite work for me and I can’t put my finger on it…does the reflection need to be stronger…not sure. Hmmm.
Ever wonder why farmers don’t have primary coloured walls…the sheep walk straight into them…great spectator fun but bad for business.
ogga lily…don’t look down…I love it cos its…well, excellent…and it reminds me of some work I did with the ducks once.. sky / mirror…very effective combination…now the girls just love this. Not being familiar with mirrors and reflective surfaces, they actually think that this is a small child balancing precariously on a parents wobbly foot, and they suspect the child will be savagely beaten and chastised should he chance to topple and fall painfully back to earth. Ha, surely not…
Not great fans of small children, my sheep…not great fans of anything really…they even moaned about the coverage of rafa nadal winning the tennis. They read in the papers that it was a record,,,winning the french and wimbledon in the same year.
Heard them bleating about it not been a record…just something that someone else had done before…that Borg bloke in 1980…and he didn’t take so bloody long about it neither.
God eh, sheep…don’t they go on…
Who’d have ‘em.
(private mails only please)
jinky…clocktower…baaa, puddles, they said bleatingly…as if we don’t see enough of the bloody things…baa and baa again. For indeed much rain has there been in sheepland of late, and many puddles, though none with so fine a blue hue reflected, nor cobbles neither, they all said as one. Also, it being called “Clocktower in a Puddle” greatly pleased Charlotte…for she had a syndrome and liked that it did what it said on the tin. And they saw that it was good and well composed…and did then have a rest, for they were sheared mightily yesterday and did shiver with cold in their nakedness.
Oldboy…in the pink…Annabel…the dancing sheep (and Queen remember), for indeed there is such a thing, is curious about the huge edifice in the background…sez it’s the biggest silage tank she ever did see…and she’s seen a few. Charlotte, who as you all know is borderline autistic, is a little perturbed by the wonky window frame support…her condition means she likes things to be regular, vertical and horizontal, not wonky. Though she likes the pink tones as it reminds her of the cute oinky things in the next village. And it’s a little bit “House on the Prairie” too we thought. Both together and as one. Which is nice,
Steve…hope you’re feelin’ better mate.
I heard a good description of the difference between cold and flu.
You’re in bed and someone phones to say there’s a thousand pound in cash on your doorstep…
If you have a cold, you get up and get the money…if you have (proper) flu…you don’t.
shelfpics